Wow. It's been so long since I've written a FOG that I'm not even sure where to start. Maybe I'll just start with why it's been so long. Things are good - really good. But they aren't very new or exciting or flashy. I am still at my same job. I still like it and am still good at it. Jim and I are still together. Things are good but in the same way that they have been good all along. Ethan is doing well in school and at home. And, while that may be the closest thing I have to news, it isn't very ground-breaking. I guess I was waiting for that BIG EVENT that would call forth the next FOG. And it just hasn't come. Life is good - really good - but not especially newsworthy these days. Maybe I'm just used to more upheaval - trials and tribulations with Ethan, dating DJ and then breaking up and then dating and then breaking up, people getting laid off at work and being in constant fear that I'll lose my job any day. But there just hasn't been very much of that this year. Things are wonderful and stable and that is so completely unusual for me that I was just waiting for something to blow up so I'd have something to write about!

Maybe it has something to do with turning 40 too. I have spent quite a bit of time this year thinking about what is next for me. Like the next big project or the next big trip. Then next chapter. The next adventure. And while I've been thinking about all of these things that are "next", I've been kind of casual about how wonderful things that are going on are. It's very unsettling to me for things to be so settled! So the "next" project has been a way for me to stir the pot. Don't get me wrong - I don't think that there is anything wrong with looking ahead. But I don't think that it's especially healthy for me to do it from a place of "things are just too calm today so I need a project to spice things up". So I've been practicing being satisfied and being happy with exactly how things are today. And let me tell you, that takes some work. I'm sure that there is a next-big-thing just around the corner for me. But you can be sure that it will come from very solid base of gratitude for how much I have today.

Ethan is now a big third grader. Holy cow! He's huge! I look at him now and don't see many traces of the little boy he was. He comes up to my collarbone AND has little muscles. He uses all kinds of fancy words and even knows what most of them mean when I ask him! He likes school, mostly due to his WONDERFUL teacher, Ms. Gil. She has a son herself with ADHD and really seems to understand Ethan's special needs in the classroom. The third grade team also has an awesome program called the "Meerkat club" to encourage the kids to treat others with respect, to take responsibility for themselves and basically to make the classroom run smoothly. Ethan loves it and they get to do special things like show up to class in pajamas and eat ice cream. He is really thriving and seems to have accepted and really started enjoying the time at his new(ish) school.

Ethan opted to continue with Karate and Cub Scouts this year. We had talks in the fall about joining something and staying with it and he decided that these were both activities that he wanted to continue doing. He has a great karate teacher (sensei) and he is working toward his low purple belt. I often catching running through punches and kicks and he seems to be much more serious about doing well that he has been in the past. We also both really like his scout master. I think his favorite cub scout activity of the year was geocaching at the local nature center. Quite a few boys from the troop made it out and they had a blast tromping through the woods. I put a GPS of his very own on his Christmas list and maybe Santa will bring us a new toy worth hours of adventure time for 2011.

Like always, Ethan and I have our ups and downs but it is mostly ups these days. He is a very sweet boy and calls me "my darling" or "wonderful Mommy". He is also becoming way more responsible for himself. In the mornings, he takes a shower, makes his bed and gets himself dressed - usually all before I am out of bed. He rarely gives me problems when it's time to do homework although I do get the occasional "negotiation" about timing. It's funny - the thing I am most frustrated with is my lack of patience in areas where I would like Ethan to grow (but for his own sake! Really!). He automatically says no when anything new happens. He would rather do what he's doing than anything else, even if what has been proposed is a ton of fun. He also gets REALLY anxious when there are 1) a lot of people or 2) it is a situation where he has never been before. I try to give him what he needs when this happens but mostly just want to kick him in the pants and tell him to get over himself. Hopefully I'll get a little compassion and Ethan will get a little courage and we will be able to meet in the middle in some of these instances.

I have been reflecting over the last few months about what it means to have lived 40 years already. So, admitting that I haven't come up with any mind blowing epiphanies, here are some realizations that I have had since the last time I wrote:

1) Age is only a number. I am still just 12 on the inside. And a really immature 12 at that.
2) You don't want to fill up the bird feeder the day you are camping out in the back yard. Oh, and crows are REALLY loud.
3) There really is magic at the magic kingdom.
4) Love makes everything better.
5) You don't have to be a size 6 to feel good in a bikini.
6) The house stays amazingly quiet and clean with no boy around. It is also much lonelier.
7) There will always be more things to do than time to do them in. But that doesn't mean you can't tackle "the list" one thing at a time.
8) Air conditioning in your car, while a luxury, is a VERY IMPORTANT luxury.
9) It's always the non-material little things that make the holidays special - snuggling in the mornings, anticipation, spending time together, thinking of others.
10) I don't have to keep in daily contact with friends and loved ones to know that I am extremely blessed with both!

Until next time...

Oh, and as a side note, I have uploaded about a year and a half's worth of pictures to the scrapbook page. Please feel free to browse around. Enjoy!