I thought for a while that it was just hard to get an update out because the end of the month is usually such a busy time for me. But then I realized (having created NO update since August) that ALL the time is busy and that if I waited for a free moment that I was probably not going to send another FOG out until Ethan went off to college! We have something now every night of the week (Monday - boy scouts, Tuesday - Jim comes over for dinner, Wednesday - Karate, Thursday - my date night, Friday - dinner and a movie with Ethan) and it's a pretty rare event that Ethan and I have a free weekend. So, grabbing this time while I have it, I thought I'd send out a quickie to update you with all the latest happenings.

A ton has happened since the last update so I won't attempt to cover it all. But thinking through the events of the past months, I'm struck by how lucky I am to have such good friends and family to share my life with. My mom (pictured left) and dad (still healthy BTW!) have been busy being grandparents and traveling the world. Alli and Dave announced that they are expecting a baby girl in June. Hooray! My niece, Larissa (she'll be two in July), is growing up to be SOO cute and Ethan actually told me this week that she's "kind of fun". That's a long way from where he was this time last year. Sheila and Rob live right down the road from us and have been busy travelling and taking on house projects. We get to see them all a couple times a month and we always have a really good time together. And you know what I've just been LOVING??? Facebook. It ends up being this kind of crazy way to keep in touch with people that I wouldn't necessarily be checking in with on a regular basis but still love having in my life. And nothing tickles me more than making a post (like the day I announced that Ethan was entering the pinewood derby) and getting responses back from people from all parts of my life - from high school to work friends to college buddies to family. I know that "social networking via the web" is not for everyone. But for me it's been a great way to reconnect with old friends and stay in touch with friends I love having more frequent contact with.

Ethan has had quite a challenging time the last months. Changing schools turned out to be rather traumatic for him and I'm not totally sure he's over it. He still tells me (although not as frequently as he did last fall) that his old school was better and that the kids were better and that, basically, everything was better. He has made some friends at his new school but it continues to be a challenge to really feel like he fits in there. But challenges aside, I finally had to bring down the hammer last fall when he ran away from me/home three times in a week. Just a side note here so it doesn't sound worse than it is - the farthest he ever made it was 1) the mail box and 2) the back of a store. But still - the intention was there... His behavior had progressively gotten worse as he struggled with all that was going on and he finally crossed a line with me that I was unwilling to cross again. There was lots of time with no privileges and lots of tearful moments about how unfair it all was (honestly from both of us!). But I finally brought home the message that "Mommy is the boss". After that, Ethan started to calm down and follow the rules again and life at home has been much more peaceful. My hope for him is that he will eventually settle in and start to really connect with someone or something at West school so that the rest of the year goes a little more smoothly than it has thus far.

Ethan is still taking Karate and has moved his way up to a green belt/white stripe. He also needed to change classes on his last birthday, leaving the class with younger kids and moving to one with kids 8-12. That was something of a challenge for him. He told me that he'd rather quit than have to find a new teacher and be in a class with new kids. My response (and it's the standard one from me) was that he didn't have to take Karate if he didn't want to with the caveat that he was not allowed to quit karate on karate day. That means that you are not allowed to quit as we are putting on the uniform, or tying the belt or walking out the door. He'd throw a huge tantrum right before it was time to leave but eventually settle down when it was time to go into the class. The thing that I've learned about Ethan (and maybe you've picked it up yourself) is that change is very hard for him. As long as things are the way they have always been, he's fine. But throw something new at him and he has a very hard time adjusting. So, after a number of complete breakdowns and lots of argument from him, we've found a new class that he LOVES and he's on his way to a new belt. Whew!

The last big change for Ethan is that he's joined Cub Scouts. It's something that I thought he'd really enjoy. He's in a smallish group of boys (a den) a couple times a month and part of a much larger group (a pack) once a month. They have worked with tools, played games and even done a unit on computers. He competed in the Pinewood derby just yesterday with a car he designed and (mostly) constructed himself. He really seems to like it, enjoys the structure and likes working towards the "next thing". It's been a really good opportunity for him to get involved with more men in his life and I'm looking forward to watching him grow in accomplishment and self-esteem.

Life for me is just really good. Work is steady but also not stressful. I am able to show up every day, do my work, and then go home. Very few nights and weekends are required and yet I'm still able to feel like an essential member of the team. And, after seeing my name on an organizational chart for 2010, most of my fears about being laid off have been set to rest! It's great to feel like my participation makes a measurable difference but also feel like my job is just a back drop to the rest of the really important things in my life. Like family. And friends. And about 10 other things that hit the list before job...

Things with Jim are absolutely fabulous! It was funny because Ethan, being the inquisitor that he is, started asking after our very early dates if we were getting married. My response at the time (and for most of last year) was that Jim and I weren't even going to talk about getting married until we'd been together for a year. And then, a year on the dot, Ethan started asking marriage questions again. When were we getting married? What are we waiting for? Don't you love him and he loves you? Honestly, it went on and on. It really helped me clarify where I was at with the whole thing. So I'll tell you what I told him: I love Jim and have never felt happier with anyone. I thoroughly enjoy our time together and count the days of the week in "days until I get to see him again". And getting married again is a big deal. Getting divorced was one of the worst things I've even been through and I want and need to be feel absolutely sure and confident about all aspects of our relationship before I'd get married again. Jim + girls + Ethan + me is a pretty complicated arrangement and it will probably take quite a bit of time for me to get comfortable with how all of those factors would work together. So, in the meantime, I am very happy. Even giddy some days. Jim is a great partner, great friend and I feel very lucky to be with him. We enjoy each other immensely and make a really good couple. He is someone I can see myself being with over the long haul but, for right now, slow is best and we're just enjoying the time as it comes. And, while he doesn't totally understand it, it seems to be enough of an answer to placate Ethan for the meantime. And you too, I hope!

Until next time...