It's been a really great couple of months! Time is just flying by and I am always so grateful to take a moment and check in. Ethan and I took a fantastic trip to Florida to visit Karen and Jackson Stump in March. As some of you might remember, we made the same pilgrimage last year with mixed result. Jackson and Ethan's relationship was rocky at best and Karen and I were in mutual agreement that the trip was at least one day too long. But Karen and I had the opportunity to really bond on that visit and we've become really good friends this year. So, with minor amounts of trepidation, we planned another trip for March of this year. Ethan was a wonderful traveler, seasoned as he is, and the flights there and back were fairly unremarkable. (Hooray!) This year things went much more smoothly (notice I didn't say just "smoothly") and we all had a really good time. The weather was just perfect - 80 in Florida and 30 in Chicago. We got to go to the beach a couple of times, played outside in shorts, and all in all had so much fun. Ethan and Jackson got along much better and I'm hoping that next year Karen and I may actually get to sit down and have a 10 minute conversation. I have pictures posted for your viewing pleasure.

The other big news is that I turned 34 on March 6th. In general, 34 doesn't strike me as a particularly noteworthy or exciting birthday. But I have to admit it was the first one where I really experienced turning older. Or maybe I should write "turning old". About a week before the actual day I found my first wrinkle. I was getting ready one morning and there it was, right under my eye. I figured it was a shadow until it didn't go away under better light. So I spent the next week (much to my family's chagrin) checking everyone for wrinkles. Did everyone else have them? How did old age start creeping in without me noticing? Is this what it is like to have one foot in the grave? And on and on. I spent a good portion of the morning of my birthday feeling sorry for myself and regretting having wasted my youth on, well, all the things I wasted it on. About 1:00 that afternoon I decided that I'd had enough. I did what always seems to work in situations like this, although just the thought of it in the aforementioned state brings shrill protests and much gritting of teeth. I sat down to write a gratitude list. At the end of it I realized the following: My life is the best it has ever been. I have a strong network of family and friends and not a day goes by where I don't receive something - mail, a phone call, e-mail - that says "I love you" in some form or another. Ethan is the light of my life. He is healthy and strong and adorable and being a mom has totally stretched me and forced me to grow in some tremendous areas. I have my health, am able to take care of myself, a wonderful home to live in and a car the runs (and will probably continue to do so for the foreseeable future - knock on wood). I have a job that not only supports me but also is supportive in helping me put what is important in my life first. When I got all done with my amazing gratitude list I realized how lucky I really am. And how I am the best I've ever been. You could not pay me any amount of money to go back to my life at 18 or 25 or even 30. My life is perfect today, wrinkle(s) and all, and I wouldn't change it one bit!

Ethan continues to grow at an unbelievable pace (now 31.5 pounds and just shy of 39 inches). He's as tall or taller than most of the three year olds we come across. And he and I have finally reached critical mass: the point where I just can't carry him anymore and he is finally able to follow verbal instructions at least a good portion of the time. So that means that Ethan is running along by himself and I'm doing my best to keep up and to keep him from knocking over everything in his path. He's so completely kinetic. When all the other kids at preschool are sitting and coloring, Ethan often just wants to run around the table. It's no wonder I drop into bed totally spent at the end of every day. Sunday brunch usually involves Grandma (who Ethan now calls Gleema), Aunt Sheila, Aunt Alli and me chanting "go go go" while Ethan does laps down the hall, through the kitchen and round the dining room and then is launched onto the couch. He can do it for half hour stretches and his energy level continually amazes me.

More than anything these days, I enjoy how much Ethan makes me laugh. He's so funny and we spend a good portion of every day giggling. Here are some of my favorite stories:

After baths on some nights, Ethan likes to run around naked. Of course, the most fun about the running is actually the being chased part. And, of course, his favorite part of being chased is being caught. And upon being caught, I launch him onto the bed and pretend to take large bites out of every exposed body part: tummy, legs, feet, arms and butt. He giggles and laughs until he just about can't breathe and then begs for more. There was one night that I needed to finish up something up in the kitchen and took a break. Ethan, sans clothes, comes trotting into the kitchen and says "more mommie!". I asked what he wanted more of, thinking that he maybe wanted a snack. "More eat butts!" he said gleefully! At which point I just died laughing. So now that's the name of our chasing game: more eat butts :)


Before our Florida visit, Jackson Stump got the idea to send Ethan a drawing he had made. It arrived at our house in a legal sized envelope with Ethan as the addressee. He sat down to open up the newly arrived correspondence and had a heck of a time getting the darn thing open. Finally I stepped in and asked if he wanted some help. After he acquiesced, I ripped open the envelope for him, opened it up, looked inside and said "what is it, Ethan"? He took a moment, looked inside, though really hard and then put the envelope on his head and said "party hat"! He was so happy that someone had thoughtfully sent him a party hat! I quickly got out the camera and captured the moment for posterity. Ethan, to this day, is obsessed with party hats. I often get crowed with an imaginary party hat, as does everyone else in the room. It still makes me giggle every time he does it.

I posted some more pictures if you, like me, can't get enough of Ethan!

As you may remember, I was set up on a blind date right before my last update. Things didn't go so well between us and we ended up not even going out. But through our conversation I found out that Landmark Education was starting a seminar in Schaumburg within the next two days. I did a bunch of work with Landmark in Albuquerque and have had nothing but wonderful experiences with them. I was very disappointed to find out upon moving to Schaumburg that all the programs Landmark offers in Chicago are actually IN Chicago. That usually looks like at least an hour, probably more like an hour and a half commute during rush hour. So I was beyond thrilled when I found out that a seminar was starting so close by and in such a short time. I was registered in the "Living Passionately" seminar within ten minute of hanging up the phone with him. The seminar has been WONDERFUL and in a lot of ways it has felt like coming home for me. There is a certain quality of life I experience when I'm engaged in looking at my life instead of just living it on auto pilot. I had a huge breakthrough in one of the first couple of sessions. Our homework was to live our lives full out, holding back nothing, going to bed completely used up. I had a really hard time with the assignment until I started doing sentence stems. Asking questions like "If I WAS living life full out, I would be:" The answer popped into my head immediately and I had to pull the car over because I was so overcome. The answer was "Dating". I realized that I have been pretending to be available and out in the dating world, but what I've really been doing is making it impossible to meet anyone and staying safely single. So I made a declaration that night - "I am officially dating". And I started talking to people about it. And, lo and behold, I had three dates set up by the end of the week. I'm currently getting to know a wonderful man, a friend of a friend, and am completely enjoying myself. It's been a LONG time since I've had butterflies and had that goofy little smile on my face all the time. Am I scared? Heck yes! My heart is fairly certain that it's going to get stomped into a million pieces once again. But, coincidentally, Ethan and I are working on courage and I'm not about to let a little fear stop me. Wish me good luck and much love!! I, of course, will keep you posted on our progress.