It's been quite a busy month (or two) since my last update! Ethan and I took a great two week trip to Albuquerque. I think I finally have it just right - the balance between getting to see everyone and doing everything I want to do and not driving Ethan or myself out of our minds by filling up every minute of every day. It takes some planning and flexibility, but I've finally worked it all out. And I had the fortune to be in town when 1) Karen Stump was also visiting from Florida 2) Sylvia King was having her bridal shower and 3) my favorite hotels in town (the Whitmore Suites and Zucker Manor) had rooms available! What luck! I worked full time the first week and Ethan stayed with a friend's nanny. I know he got excellent care because I'sd come pick him up after 8 hours of separation and just he'sd look up, smile, and go back to playing. It is very weird, getting a taste of that life. I see what it would be like to be working full-time again and also be a single mom. My experience of Ethan is so different! Not only am I rushing around trying to get him ready for the next thing all the time, but I only get to see him during his crabbiest hours of the day! I always come back to Chicago with a renewed sense of gratitude for the life I have and the precious time I get to spend with Ethan.

I started attending a Divorce workshop through my mom's church at the beginning of June. I've been surprised with what I've been getting out of it - mostly gratitude. We have a small group that meets every week and we discuss what is going in our lives and, in some cases, the divorce proceedings. You would not believe (or maybe you would) what a lot of these people have to put up with! A lot of nights I leave thinking "These people's ex-spouses are NUTS! I could have it so much worse." Ethan's dad, much to my surprise, has been great about paying child support. He shows up every month with cash. We went to see a mediator in January and set up a visitation schedule and so far we've only had a couple significant snafus. The good news there is that I've been able to express what isn't working for me and why and we've resolved all outstanding issues. I'm extremely glad for Ethan's sake that his dad is interested in being a positive and consistent presence in his life. I know it will make a huge impact in the long run. And I'm really grateful for my sake that almost all of what I have to take to our Monday small group sessions is past stuff instead "all the crap that my ex pulled this week".

Ethan turned a year and a half on June 19th. There was some kind of mental shift that happened for me right around that time. This particular "month" birthday was a big deal for me and I am seeing him more like a little boy and less like a baby. He's getting teeth like it's going out of style. He's got the front eight and is working on some back ones. We've been to the beauty salon a couple of times and he looks very cute in his big boy haircut. He is able to communicate about 50 things, but he has some favorites. Most frequently heard word at our house? Buzz. Meaning Buzz Lightyear. Ethan would watch Toy Story all day, every day if I allowed it. And it's not just wanting to see the movie. He says "Buzz" (or Buh) longingly until Buzz actually comes on the screen. In a way it's very cute and I'm glad that he's found something he likes so much. I often see him with his arms up in the air, saying "To infinity and beyond!" in baby. In other ways it's a little disturbing. How do I balance letting him have what he wants with keeping him from turning into a total TV-watching zombie? I'm sure I'll figure it out, but in the meantime there are more than a few tantrums in our future when the TV gets turned off. Second most frequently uttered phrases in our house is a tie: "all done" and "more". I am pretty sure that Ethan understands what "more" means, but is slightly confused with the concept of "all done". Some of the uses I understand. He says it when I come get him up from nap; He says it when he wants to get out of the bathtub; He also says it when he is out of food and then says "more". I can see that - I'm "all done" with the food I have and want "more". But then there are the random incidents. When we are just walking along and "all done" pops out of his mouth. I always think "All done what? Were you thinking about something and just decided to stop thinking about it? Did you just see some animal finish a task? Or are you tired of walking and want to be carried?" Of course he can't tell me, but it makes me very curious about what is happening in that little brain of his. I look forward to him getting a slightly larger vocabulary.

Ethan has also mastered one sentence, much to my chagrin. I taught it to him by accident, and while it's very funny (and I'm chuckling as I write) I would be much happier if it was something a little less, well, private. See, Ethan has, um, discovered himself like all boys his age. And as soon as the diaper comes off he is exploring all the parts of his body he doesn't get to spend much quality time with. Never mind what kind of shape they're in or what the area is covered with. Down go the hands to run today's experiments. And it would all be fine with me, but it got to the point that I couldn't get him back into a diaper. I would pry one hand away, only to have the other hand take its place. Finally, out of pure desperation, I started telling Ethan that it was time to say goodbye to his pee pee. And sadly it stuck. Now, no matter where we are and no matter what the circumstance, Ethan says "bye bye pee pee" before the diaper goes on. I'm sure he will outgrow it. But a part of me can't help but laugh at the thought of Ethan, a grown man of 30, sidling up to a urinal, finishing his business and in a soft voice saying "bye bye pee pee" as all the other guys throw him quizzical sideways glances.

I'm moving! This Sunday! Hooray! I am so excited I can barely stand it!! My parents have been looking for a tax break and I've been thinking that it's time to get out on my own again and whadayaknow the two just seem to go together. They closed on a two bedroom condo about ten minutes away on June 27th and are (you guessed it) renting it to me! My new address is:

Please e-mail me for the address

I still only have a temporary phone number, but will send it along when I have a permanent one. It is the cutest little place and just the right size for Ethan and me. He has his own room and I get the "master suite". The last owners just redid the bathroom so that's all brand new. It has a new HUGE fridge and gas stove. My new landlords are painting and putting in all new carpet. I even got to pick the colors! It has a nice big attached woodshop, uh, garage with a ton of shelving units. The complex has a pool and a couple parks within walking distance. I have to admit to being more than a little sad about leaving my folks home. My parents have been just wonderful about having us around. And I'm really going to miss having lunch together every day and having someone to say hello to as I pass through the kitchen. But it will be also be great to have my own space again. It's been a really long time since I've lived without another adult (almost ten years!) and it will be interesting for me to see what's changed in that time. How clean do I want the house? What will I cook when I get to choose? I guess I'll fill you in on all these things and more next month. Until then, wish me good moving weather and speedy unpacking!